Foodie Baby: When Raising a Foodie Baby Backfires

Even the most motivated and doting new mothers around know that there are some mornings that one cup of coffee isn't doing the trick and the thought of hearing the food processor whirring at its eardrum-splitting decibel level sends a shiver down the back of your neck. Most days you do it anyway because, well, you love your baby and the look on their face when they hear the screeching devil machine is just too much to take:

Today was one of the rare occasions I fed Piper breakfast from *gasp* a jar. It was called "Country Breakfast," but as I opened the container it smelled more like dog food. I am from the country and I advise you to take that description with a grain of salt. I tasted a bit of it myself and almost gagged. "Oh well," I thought, "maybe she'll like it anyway."  Wrong.  I was given this face:

until I took the slop out of the jar, mixed it and reheated it with whole milk, sprinkled a large amount of pepper into it and about the same amount of celery seed, minced and lightly sauteed some onion and mixed it in, as well as a fair amount of garlic powder. I'm surprised the child didn't want her choice of sausage links or patties to accompany her gourmet meal. Yep, this is what we asked for when we wanted a foodie baby.  No one to blame but ourselves.

Read More...

Hide Full Post...

Foodie Baby: Chicken, Bacon, Avocado, Tomato, Cali-Style Yumminess

The combination of chicken, bacon, avocado, and tomato has to be one of the most refreshing and satisfying out there.  Smokey and fresh.  So different, yet couldn't be better suited for one another. They form an  ideal relationship, one being understated and subdued, the other bold and zesty. They'd be delicious and would stand well on their own, but together they compensate for what the other lacks forming the perfect marriage.  Someday, I will find the bacon to my avocado. The tomato to my chicken. But for now, I will live vicariously through my baby food...

~Ingredients~

2 medium chicken breasts, cooked through and browned in olive oil
4 slices of hickory smoked bacon, reserving 1 Tbsp. of grease
1 Tbsp. bacon grease (see above)
1 avocado
3 slices ripe tomato
pepper
1 cup of water

 ~Instructions~

1. Brown the two chicken breasts, sprinkling with pepper, in olive oil until cooked thoroughly and remove from skillet.
2.  Pan fry the four slices of bacon until cooked to medium. Too crispy and it will not blend well, as well as detract from flavor.  Reserve the 1 Tbsp. of bacon grease and keep separate in a ramekin.
3.  Cut the avocado in half, de-seed, and scoop into a separate bowl.
4.  Cut the three slices of ripe tomato and keep on a separate plate.
5.  Place all ingredients into a blender with the 1 cup of water and puree to desired consistency.

 6.  This should make approximately 6 jars of baby food.

 7.  Your baby should look like this as he/she is devouring its smokey-fresh goodness:

8.  Should your child not appreciate all of your hard work and does not care for your homemade baby food, this would be DELICIOUS if spread onto pita bread or crackers.  Go ahead and pour that glass of wine I know you're contemplating, too. You have to be frustrated.

Read More...

Hide Full Post...

Foodie Baby: BABY COLONIC EXPERIMENT!

I know it doesn't seem like food and poop should really be used in the same sentence, and I don't really know why I got the sudden urge this morning to clean my baby's gastrointestinal tract.  Maybe it's because she's just not one of those super poopy infants that blesses me with a ginormous pantload every day that had me feeling like I needed to get the gears working.  At any rate, the method I used is below.  Don't forget to click on THIS LINK to see a hilarious Saturday Night Live skit regarding blowing out your colon! I will get back to you all on the results...tick, tock, tick, tock....

~Ingredients~

3 whole pitted prunes
1/8 cup of rolled oats
1/4 cup of water

~Instructions~

1. Heat the rolled oats and water in a small bowl for 30 seconds on 60% power in your microwave.
2. Spoon the oatmeal into a food processor.
3. Plop the 3 prunes in the food processor as well.
4. Puree until a rich and creamy texture.
5. Make sure your baby eats all of it.
6. Wait for impending diaper explosion....or not...like I said, I'll get back to you.

Read More...

Hide Full Post...

Foodie Baby: Swiss Steak

The full recipe for Crock Pot Swiss Steak can be found by clicking right here!

This serves for a great baby food in that the London broil has been simmering for hours with the diced tomatoes making it extremely tender and flavorful.  The tomatoes and their sauce also add a robust and tangy flavor to the meat that will knock their tiny little socks off.

While the Swiss Steak is still in the crock pot, cut off a small portion of the meat and place in a food processor.  With a ladle, spoon a proportionate amount of diced tomatoes with onions onto it. The most important part is spooning a generous portion of the delicious red broth onto it.

Puree it to the consistency to which your baby is comfortable. I know it took Piper a little while to get used to any kind of chunks. I'm unsure if this is because until this month she had no teeth, but now she is fine with thicker and chunkier textures. In a case like this where thickness is an issue, add more of the broth from the crock pot until it is smooth enough.

This is what your infant should look like after eating her Crock Pot Swiss Steak.

I don't know if I can handle how GOOD this is, Mama.

You have any more?

Read More...

Hide Full Post...

Tools of the Trade

First and most importantly, bring your sense of humor.  This is the most important weapon in your arsenal. There will be black smoke triggering fire detectors, there will be ruined utensils and kitchenware, time will be wasted, energy will be spent, and you may have hallucinations of dollar signs floating out of the window alongside the billows of black smoke. Not to worry.  The few times you do botch your family's meal it may seem to you like tragedy has struck, but in reality they're secretly rejoicing because now it is pizza delivery night. You will be harder on yourself than they will ever be, so relax and enjoy your pizza.

I also believe that every woman and man should own a sassy apron. For women, this can be a direct reflection of your personality and there are plenty of designs and styles out there to choose from.  Men are a bit more simple and will probably appreciate one of the kind that make it look like they are a woman with big boobs when they tie it around their neck. A "Kiss the Cook" apron is always nice as well.  If your husband or boyfriend is cooking in the kitchen while wearing and apron (or cooking at all), this is a man that deserves kisses. Lots of them.

As far as cooking for yourself and the fam, no special utensils are necessary whatsoever. Measuring spoons, measuring cups, mixing  bowls, large and small pots and pans with lids, stirring devices, baking sheets, the basics. If anything, you can improvise and substitute with other common household items if some utensils are unavailable. As you will see in future posts, I have frequently used cans of Rave hairspray and dental floss...

Cooking for baby only requires a few more odds and ends, but nothing you probably don't already have.  You will definitely need a food processor.  It doesn't have to be a Baby Bullet, although I have wanted one for as long as I have been making baby food from scratch.  It cuts out a few minor steps and has a pretty nifty dating system on the lids of the bowls and cups.  Alas, I am a giganto procrastinator and never treated myself to this cool little gadget.  You have undoubtedly already purchased some basic Gerber First Foods like squash, peas, green beans, pears, etc. for on-the-go situations and those evenings when not even cooking can turn that frown upside down.  Save those jars and lids, every single one! Next, you will need labels. I use Multiuse Labels, Print & Write Removable ones from Staples. They are laser/inkjet compatible as well, although if you are taking the time to print out your baby food labels then you have way too much free time. And that's coming from me, so that's pretty sad.

Read More...

Hide Full Post...