Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tools of the Trade

First and most importantly, bring your sense of humor.  This is the most important weapon in your arsenal. There will be black smoke triggering fire detectors, there will be ruined utensils and kitchenware, time will be wasted, energy will be spent, and you may have hallucinations of dollar signs floating out of the window alongside the billows of black smoke. Not to worry.  The few times you do botch your family's meal it may seem to you like tragedy has struck, but in reality they're secretly rejoicing because now it is pizza delivery night. You will be harder on yourself than they will ever be, so relax and enjoy your pizza.

I also believe that every woman and man should own a sassy apron. For women, this can be a direct reflection of your personality and there are plenty of designs and styles out there to choose from.  Men are a bit more simple and will probably appreciate one of the kind that make it look like they are a woman with big boobs when they tie it around their neck. A "Kiss the Cook" apron is always nice as well.  If your husband or boyfriend is cooking in the kitchen while wearing and apron (or cooking at all), this is a man that deserves kisses. Lots of them.

As far as cooking for yourself and the fam, no special utensils are necessary whatsoever. Measuring spoons, measuring cups, mixing  bowls, large and small pots and pans with lids, stirring devices, baking sheets, the basics. If anything, you can improvise and substitute with other common household items if some utensils are unavailable. As you will see in future posts, I have frequently used cans of Rave hairspray and dental floss...

Cooking for baby only requires a few more odds and ends, but nothing you probably don't already have.  You will definitely need a food processor.  It doesn't have to be a Baby Bullet, although I have wanted one for as long as I have been making baby food from scratch.  It cuts out a few minor steps and has a pretty nifty dating system on the lids of the bowls and cups.  Alas, I am a giganto procrastinator and never treated myself to this cool little gadget.  You have undoubtedly already purchased some basic Gerber First Foods like squash, peas, green beans, pears, etc. for on-the-go situations and those evenings when not even cooking can turn that frown upside down.  Save those jars and lids, every single one! Next, you will need labels. I use Multiuse Labels, Print & Write Removable ones from Staples. They are laser/inkjet compatible as well, although if you are taking the time to print out your baby food labels then you have way too much free time. And that's coming from me, so that's pretty sad.


  1. Next lesson... how to embed links to Amazon pages so people can see and/or buy the stuff. I'll text ya later. ;) Freaking hilarious post, BTW!

  2. I did! You can click on Baby Bullet and Gerber! Or did you mean a specific Amazon.com trick that I'm totally unaware of (which is likely)?